Friday, July 5, 2013

WAPF censors The Calm Canary; MockPod with Kimberly Hartke, publicist

The reviews are in!

   "MockPod with Kimberly" is...


 "What kind of %&#$@$ podcast can't you load onto an mp3 player?!"

" impossibly long as to be unlistenable..."
- Siskel and Ebert, response extrapolated (real comments not forthcoming)

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a Beaver Dam...only a pinhole breach - a relatively minor issue for the NSA to keep this from breaking...he compressed so many months of diligent research into one large non-mp3 format podcast over 4 1/2 hours long, making it an unscalable mountain.  Asking an American to listen to this MockPod is like asking a goldfish to watch Gone with the Wind.  And as I like to say, 'algebra sounds like gibberish to a giraffe.'  There's always that internet kill switch."
 - K.G.H., response extrapolated (real comments not forthcoming)

"I have no time for Time Magazine or Rolling Stone.
I have no wish for wishing wells or wishing bones.
I have no house in the country, I have no motor car.
And if you think I'm joking, then I'm just a one-line joker in a public bar.
And it seems there's no-body left for tennis; and I'm a one-band-man.
And I want no Top Twenty funeral or a hundred grand.
There was a little boy stood on a burning log,
Rubbing his hands with glee. He said, "Oh Mother England,
Did you light my smile; or did you light this fire under me?
One day I'll be a minstrel in the gallery.
And paint you a picture of the queen.
And if sometimes I sing to a cynical degree
It's just the nonsense that it seems."

- Ian Anderson, B.S.M. ("Bull-Shit Man") (Baker Street Muse)


UPDATE 5/12/2014:

Original MockPod too rude, hard to understand.  Removed.  A second podcast or a new internet radio program may come later.


Readers and listeners,

In February of this year, Kimberly Hartke, publicist for the Weston A. Price Foundation, agreed to do a podcast with me on the subject of the distilled waters.  At that time, I predicted that she would be told to cancel by her boss.  To make a long story short, that's what eventually happened.

So I decided to do a Mock Podcast on my own, and interview myself.  If you've ever heard of a mock trial, this will be sort of like one of those.

I've been working on this for a while, but as I release it now I feel like I'm forgetting something important!

Strangely, Blogger will not play audio files, but will play video files.


"MockPod with Kimberly" (04:38:03)

This podcast is currently available both on Vimeo and as a blank video with black background embedded into this article.

The Vimeo version has slightly higher audio quality because Blogger re-processed it.

Vimeo version:  REMOVED 5/12/2014

     part 1:
     part 2:


No, no, Hingson mister, no


NOTE: this podcast includes a rough demo version of my Rock Lobster parody (without background vocals).

RockLob parody lyrics:

They were at a party
My ear lobe fell in the deep
Andrew reached in and grabbed it
He was a talk blogster!

Talk blogster

She was out of reach
Weston A. Price had active bowels
Kimberly went under a rock
So I made a mock
But it wasn't a mock
It was a mock podcast!

Mock podcast

Potion in the ocean
His oil well broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
BP was in a jam
Said the Drunken Clam! 

Barack Mobster!

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Minger-maid wavin'
Wavin' to Jimmy Moore
Ravin' e-fans
Cat fixers fixin'
Cruise ship friction
Cock blockster!

Cock blockster

Red Lobster bribin'

Warm nuts arrivin'

X-wings flexin'
Tie fighters vexin'

Barack, Barack

Barack Mobster!

Down, down!





(E.T. sounds)

Let's mock!

Boys and bikinis
Lots and lots and lots of boys
Everybody's mockin'
Everybody's rockin'

Groovin' in the Grove*
Layin' in the sun
Bakin' up babies,
Babylon buns

Put on a hose-guard
Hit on your bodyguard
Pass the grass-fed butter

Here comes a sting-Reagan
There goes a Nixon-ray
In walked a jelly-Bush
There goes a HillDawg-fish
Chased by a Bill-fish
In flew a Joe Biden
Watch out for that Queen Mother
There goes a tar-ball
Here comes a Newt Gingrich!

Moloch Mobsters
Moloch Mobsters
Moloch Mobsters
Moloch Mobsters

*for more information about Bohemian Grove, see post "Weaving spiders come not here!"



In the first edition of this MockPod, it is very difficult to hear the following passage:

0:26:25  "Of course, we happy Weston Price fans all know that such foods as pasture-raised egg yolks and raw dairy if you like it, raw oysters and other bivalves, organ meats, fish, raw fermented fish liver oils, fish eggs, brains, insects, etc. are fertility foods and may be eating in abundance, particularly at certain times of life such as conception, pregnancy and breastfeeding..."


There's a fine line between...


No comments: