Wednesday, September 11, 2013


Do you like Johnny Cash sound-alikes?  Marijuana? 

Listen here.


Marijuana, you're the Devil in disguise
You promise things no man can realize
On flights of make-believe you send the mind
You're a one-way trip to a world of another kind

Your petals may be found across our land
And I reckon you're mean enough to grow in sand
In a backyard garden or a high-rise window box
You're there in the country or among the city's blocks

Marijuana, you're the father of the lie
And sometimes I'm made to wonder why
That folks are deceived by your flowers
And held the prisoners of your mystic powers

Marijuana, your leaves could tell a tale that would chill
But you won't talk and I guess you never will
For it's silently you prey upon the youth
As they search for love, and peace and truth

Marijuana, may your name pass from the scene
And may the world forget you'd ever been
And if folks should wonder how you fell
We'll say the Devil planted you in Hell.


Ah, get with the New World Order, man!  There's no more pot on the Earth anymore.  The government destroyed it all, man, in order to protect the oil companies!

Yeah, why?

Because, marijuana seeds can be made into a fuel more efficient than gasoline!  And the government doesn't like that.  And, who controls the government?

The oil companies!

Exactly!  And who controls the oil companies?

I don't know!


If you want to watch the complete comedy sketch,


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Running equations list, Vol. III

[still running...come back later]

1.  Pasture-raised ≠ pasteurized!!!

     (many people truly are unaware of the distinction)

2.  Making raw butter in a jar > Shake Weight

3.  McAdoo    Xanadu


Sunday, July 28, 2013


[come back later]

"MayonnEgg"/Arrested Development = "MegNog"/Family Guy = ("Potato Salad" + "Chicken Lady")/The Kids in the Hall


Friday, July 5, 2013

WAPF censors The Calm Canary; MockPod with Kimberly Hartke, publicist

The reviews are in!

   "MockPod with Kimberly" is...


 "What kind of %&#$@$ podcast can't you load onto an mp3 player?!"

" impossibly long as to be unlistenable..."
- Siskel and Ebert, response extrapolated (real comments not forthcoming)

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a Beaver Dam...only a pinhole breach - a relatively minor issue for the NSA to keep this from breaking...he compressed so many months of diligent research into one large non-mp3 format podcast over 4 1/2 hours long, making it an unscalable mountain.  Asking an American to listen to this MockPod is like asking a goldfish to watch Gone with the Wind.  And as I like to say, 'algebra sounds like gibberish to a giraffe.'  There's always that internet kill switch."
 - K.G.H., response extrapolated (real comments not forthcoming)

"I have no time for Time Magazine or Rolling Stone.
I have no wish for wishing wells or wishing bones.
I have no house in the country, I have no motor car.
And if you think I'm joking, then I'm just a one-line joker in a public bar.
And it seems there's no-body left for tennis; and I'm a one-band-man.
And I want no Top Twenty funeral or a hundred grand.
There was a little boy stood on a burning log,
Rubbing his hands with glee. He said, "Oh Mother England,
Did you light my smile; or did you light this fire under me?
One day I'll be a minstrel in the gallery.
And paint you a picture of the queen.
And if sometimes I sing to a cynical degree
It's just the nonsense that it seems."

- Ian Anderson, B.S.M. ("Bull-Shit Man") (Baker Street Muse)


UPDATE 5/12/2014:

Original MockPod too rude, hard to understand.  Removed.  A second podcast or a new internet radio program may come later.


Readers and listeners,

In February of this year, Kimberly Hartke, publicist for the Weston A. Price Foundation, agreed to do a podcast with me on the subject of the distilled waters.  At that time, I predicted that she would be told to cancel by her boss.  To make a long story short, that's what eventually happened.

So I decided to do a Mock Podcast on my own, and interview myself.  If you've ever heard of a mock trial, this will be sort of like one of those.

I've been working on this for a while, but as I release it now I feel like I'm forgetting something important!

Strangely, Blogger will not play audio files, but will play video files.


"MockPod with Kimberly" (04:38:03)

This podcast is currently available both on Vimeo and as a blank video with black background embedded into this article.

The Vimeo version has slightly higher audio quality because Blogger re-processed it.

Vimeo version:  REMOVED 5/12/2014

     part 1:
     part 2:


No, no, Hingson mister, no


NOTE: this podcast includes a rough demo version of my Rock Lobster parody (without background vocals).

RockLob parody lyrics:

They were at a party
My ear lobe fell in the deep
Andrew reached in and grabbed it
He was a talk blogster!

Talk blogster

She was out of reach
Weston A. Price had active bowels
Kimberly went under a rock
So I made a mock
But it wasn't a mock
It was a mock podcast!

Mock podcast

Potion in the ocean
His oil well broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
BP was in a jam
Said the Drunken Clam! 

Barack Mobster!

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Minger-maid wavin'
Wavin' to Jimmy Moore
Ravin' e-fans
Cat fixers fixin'
Cruise ship friction
Cock blockster!

Cock blockster

Red Lobster bribin'

Warm nuts arrivin'

X-wings flexin'
Tie fighters vexin'

Barack, Barack

Barack Mobster!

Down, down!





(E.T. sounds)

Let's mock!

Boys and bikinis
Lots and lots and lots of boys
Everybody's mockin'
Everybody's rockin'

Groovin' in the Grove*
Layin' in the sun
Bakin' up babies,
Babylon buns

Put on a hose-guard
Hit on your bodyguard
Pass the grass-fed butter

Here comes a sting-Reagan
There goes a Nixon-ray
In walked a jelly-Bush
There goes a HillDawg-fish
Chased by a Bill-fish
In flew a Joe Biden
Watch out for that Queen Mother
There goes a tar-ball
Here comes a Newt Gingrich!

Moloch Mobsters
Moloch Mobsters
Moloch Mobsters
Moloch Mobsters

*for more information about Bohemian Grove, see post "Weaving spiders come not here!"



In the first edition of this MockPod, it is very difficult to hear the following passage:

0:26:25  "Of course, we happy Weston Price fans all know that such foods as pasture-raised egg yolks and raw dairy if you like it, raw oysters and other bivalves, organ meats, fish, raw fermented fish liver oils, fish eggs, brains, insects, etc. are fertility foods and may be eating in abundance, particularly at certain times of life such as conception, pregnancy and breastfeeding..."


There's a fine line between...


Monday, May 27, 2013

Kombucha is an F-bomb!

A fluoride bomb, that is.

Adding tea to your routine (or keeping it in your routine if it's already a part of your routine...) may be contributing to YOUR fluoride load!

Q:  Even my fluoride load?

A:  Yes, that includes you.

In an earlier article, I warned you all not to add lemon to your tea because it binds the aluminum in tea and makes it more absorbable.

Now, let's talk about fluoride.

Fluoride is a cumulative toxin - it builds up over time.  And fluoride is particularly attracted to the pineal gland, where it forms brain sand - corpora arenacea.  Some poor souls have been exposed to a lot of fluoride, over a period of many years.  And certain individuals are more sensitive to the effects of fluoride exposure than others.

And it seems to me that certain individuals interested in decalcifying their pineal gland, becoming Enlightened, or seeking Truth, for example, might want to minimize their fluoride exposure, and, dare I say, even seek out methods of removing what fluoride has accumulated in their bodies.

Kombucha is the most popular "health" drink in town.  You can probably find a special refrigerated shelf dedicated to kombucha at your local health foods store - at mine there is sometimes even a lady handing out free samples of the stuff. 

Kombucha, especially that which is bottled by GT, has many celebrity endorsements:

"Turbocharge your metabolism with kombucha."

- Dr. Oz

"It[GT's "Gingerade" kombucha]'s zingy and gives me a boost.  Who knows what it does, but I like it.  Just call me 'Zen' Roker."

- Al Roker of the Today Show

"Here are a few snacks to tide you over until dinner...A GT's Raw Organic Kombucha."

- Gwyneth Paltrow

Kombucha has been associated with Enlightenment, and with Zen (especially because of that "'Zen' Roker" quote).  But as I see it, nothing could be further from the truth.  Kombucha could be a real hindrance for those who are seeking Enlightenment. 

On this bottle of GT's Passionberry Bliss kombucha one sees a beautiful flower and the words:


You might think, from looking at the bottle, that drinking its contents would elevate you to heights of transcendent bliss, but I can assure you that is not the case.  Remember, we live in "opposite land" (quoting Andrew Norton Webber).  When the bottle says "Enlightened," it might be doublespeak.

On the reverse side of the bottle, "Words of Enlightenment" appear.  (It's different for each bottle)

Words of Enlightenment:

"As long as you act with a peaceful mind and intention then happiness shall follow you like a never-departing shadow."


Translation:  "As long as you drink this stuff all day long and practice 'being nice' you will remain Third-Eye blind and your pineal gland will remain dark - its thick fluoroapatite shell will keep it sealed and in never-departing shadow."

And as for the SYNERGY we see in big, capital letters at the top of the label - that is significant, too.

In my opinion, the fluoride in kombucha can synergize with other toxins that are likely already present in your body.  Mercury is the biggest culprit, but there's more than enough lead and aluminum to go around, as well.


           Hg                                                 +                                                F


[see post "SynerTox"]

At the end of the ingredients list on every bottle of GT's SYNERGY kombucha, it says, "...and 100% pure love."

How cute is that?


This article is not an anti-kombucha rag-fest.  I don't think kombucha is evil!

I have become a firm believer in lactofermented foods such as sauerkraut and raw liquid whey.   I'm open to the idea that tea is made less harmful through fermentation, as are many foods.  And I am very much open to the idea that some humans can tolerate a certain amount of fluoride - just as they can tolerate a certain amount of any toxin.  But to say that all kombucha is safe for all people in all situations is reckless and irresponsible.

Sally Fallon has published an article on the subject to alleviate any concerns that Weston A. Price Foundation fans might have about the fluoride in kombucha.  It didn't make me feel any better.

Her tests show the level of fluoride in the fluoridated tap water BEFORE it is filtered, after it is filtered, after the tea is steeped in that filtered water, and after the kombucha is made.  In the end, it turns out that Sally's cup of tea or kombucha made with filtered tap water has approximately the same amount of fluoride as the tap water before it was filtered.  Also, notice that the filtered water has a fluoride content only slightly less than the unfiltered tap water - 0.62 ppm instead of 0.86 ppm.  This is damning.  THE FILTER IS NOT REMOVING THE FLUORIDESally Fallon does not make note of this in her article.  On a good day, a high-end home reverse osmosis system will remove 85% of the fluoride, and even that is not "good enough."  This data demonstrates either that an inferior filter was used or that it was not "a good day" for that filter.

Fluoride in Tea and Kombucha

Tap water 0.86 ppm
Filtered water 0.62 ppm
Organic Black Tea 0.94 ppm
Kombucha 0.90 ppm
Testing by Soil Control Lab,
Watsonville, CA (831) 724-5422


Furthermore, Fallon's data is geared to give the very MOST CONSERVATIVE VALUE POSSIBLE for the organic black tea and kombucha fluoride levels.

She used organic black tea with the lowest fluoride content she could find.  Fallon is replicating a near-ideal situation.  She used safe tea in her experiment.

Fallon's kombucha article and her attempt at placating concerned readers has not proven that kombucha is safe - not by a long shot.  It has only proven that it is possible to make some not-THAT-toxic kombucha out of organic black tea.

The average level of water fluoridation in this country is 1.0 ppm.  So, perhaps the average WAPF reader reading Fallon's kombucha article might glance over it briefly, and think, "Oh, that's nice, kombucha has less fluoride than the average glass of tap water."

But a more critical reading of her article shows that she used tea with a very low fluoride content - what I would call an unusually low fluoride content.  Most tea has quite a lot more fluoride!

I like this graphic.  It clearly illustrates my point:

see also:

"Tea Intake Is A Risk Factor For Skeletal Fluorosis" - Michael Connett, Fluoride Action Network

A more critical reading of Fallon's article also shows that the filtered tap water has a fluoride level (0.62 ppm) almost equivalent to the intended fluoridation level (!) in some communities.  For example, the water supply in Corvallis, OR is currently being poisoned with fluoride at a level of 0.7 ppm. 

Chances are, (~70%) if you are in the United States, your tap water is fluoridated.  Filters don't remove it, and most tea is very high in fluoride.  Even organic tea still has significant (though much lower) fluoride accumulation in the leaves, and I think this may be a problem for certain individuals who are particularly sensitive to this toxin or have been chronically poisoned by fluoride.

Furthermore, organic certification is next to meaningless to a super-hardcore conspiracy theorist like me.

If Sally had selected another type of tea, it would probably have been grown intentionally with fluoridated water, which concentrates in the tea leaves more than in any other plant (!)

Most tea is not safe to drink. 

Kombucha should not be taken as a high-fluoride replacement for using fermented foods regularly in your diet!

Unfortunately, that is the way it is being used in this country.  The Standard American Diet contains ZERO raw, lactofermented foods.  People who have never had fermented foods before will take to them like a duck to water.  If the only fermented food they know is kombucha, and they sip it all day, they are in F- trouble.

So while I don't object to kombucha on principle, I object to the kombucha fad, and I object to full-grown men turning themselves into apathetic jellyfish by guzzling seven cups of the stuff every day.

Again, let me repeat: most tea is not safe to drink.  In my opinion, kombucha is a significant danger.

Some of you may object.  I have foreseen that.

I don't have a stack of research papers to refer to, but I do have two case studies:

There are individuals who have symptoms from ingesting fluoride.

1)  In the article "Q & A on Tea and Fluoride," Aliss Terpstra (one such individual) says,

"Hypersensitive and poisoned people cannot usually tolerate any beverage with more fluoride than 0.2 mg/L."

source: "Q & A on Tea and Fluoride" - Hartke is Online

(be sure to read commenter Ryan's remarks about his experience with red wine, fluoride pesticide and resultant hypothyroidism)

"In the United States, many vineyards use a fluoride pesticide called cryolite. As a result, the levels of fluoride in U.S. grape juice and wine (particularly white grape juice and white wine) are consistently elevated. Indeed, in 2005, the USDA reported that the average level of fluoride exceeded 2 ppm for both white wine and white grape. The levels of fluoride in red wine are also elevated (1 ppm), and so are raisins (2.3 ppm). If you buy grape juice and wine, or if you are a heavy consumer of raisins, buy organic."

(from Fluoride Action Network -

(also, the comments on "Q & A on Tea and Fluoride" by Sylvia Onusic, PhD were valuable):

Q:  Sylvia, what are the symptoms you are referring to from drinking tea?

A:  Fluoride ingestion [a.k.a. "DRINKING TEA"] has been related to fatigue, gastro esphogeal reflux, other digestive upsets, nausea, loss of appetite, headache, skin problems, depression, hypoactivity in adults (hyperactivity in children) and other issues. Some people experiences allergic-like symptoms, while for others, accumulation over years contributes to the development of skeletal fluorosis, hip fracture, gastritis, hypothyroidism or other conditions. Fluoride affects persons of all ages, including infants and children. 

Avoidance of fluoride is a good policy for improving health but involves educating oneself about sources of fluoride besides the obvious ones. I was surprised to hear that fluoride is the substance used in the air fresheners we so commonly place around the house.


We would do well to pay attention to fluoride-sensitive individuals.  They are our fluoride canaries.  If Aliss Terpstra says that she can tolerate certain types of tea while other types cause symptoms, then it stands to reason that certain other individuals might well be able to reasonably regard some teas as "unsafe."

Fluoride can also be a problem in other beverages.  Bones from feedlot animals often have accumulated large amounts of fluoride over the lifespan of the animal, and this leaches into the broth during cooking.  

Drinking copious amounts of bone broth (distinctly different from meat broth) is a good way to recover from arthritis, fluoride poisoning and many other health issues, but you have to be careful about where the bones come from - you have to buy pasture-raised animal products.

2) Another fluoride-sensitive individual, the author of The Cellulite Investigation, has demonstrated that she has symptoms (fluoroderma flares) when she drinks bone broth made from animals that were given fluoridated water, but not when she drinks bone broth made from pasture-raised animals.  

Read more here:

"A Bone Broth Breakthrough: Fluoride-Free, Finally!" - The Cellulite Investigation

Please recognize, folks, that your loving government (love-gov) treats you like a feedlot animal.  And the fluoride accumulates in human bone just as easily as it accumulates in animal bone. 

Fluoride: "a highly toxic bone poison that should be avoided at all costs."


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Never put salt in your Third Eye

Never put salt in your Third Eye.  (Never put fluoride in your mouth.)

"Halo-gens" are "salt-makers".

Fluoride calcifies the pineal gland; this is the main purpose of water fluoridation.

For those of you out there who "disagree" (not because of genuine opinion but because of programming and unconscious reflex) - you're "fucking morons*."

The Kids in the Hall has become one of my favorite comedy groups - they've even been called "the Canadian Monty Python" - but in the last few months I have come to realize (sadly) that they are probably Satanists.

A few of their sketches have overt references to Satanism, while very many others have hidden meanings and more subtle references to Satanism and/or "the occult," as it is called.

I plan to expand on this idea in future articles.

Not every KITH sketch has a hidden meaning, but chances are, if you feel like you "just don't get it," you don't.

For now, it will suffice to explain just one of their sketches.  I'm spoon-feeding you, people.

CTRL+click to watch in a new tab:
"Never Put Salt In Your Eyes" - The Kids in the Hall

Scott Thompson: "There is a school of thought that fluoridation causes mental retardation..."

None of you deniers out there can deny that Scott really did say this line in the sketch "Never Put Salt In Your Eyes".  Maybe some of you will claim that his line is "not related" to Kevin repeatedly sprinkling salt in his eyes.  But you're making yourselves look like fools.  

This Kids in the Hall sketch could easily be called "the Dr. Strangelove sketch."

You see, skepticism is only healthy to a point.  I recently realized that there are probably millions of people around the country who talk with their psychotherapists (psycho-the-rapists) about conspiracy theories (more so this year than even last year) and many of these "the-rapists" are holding their patients back with their unhealthy skepticism.  Many "health care practitioners" are doing the same thing.

 "I'm no conspiracy theorist..."

[see his article "Are GMOs safe?" for the full version of Chris Kresser's cowardly conspiracy theory cop-out and my lengthy (and unanswered) response in the comments section]

Skepticism can be a good tool, but if it goes too far it can become unhealthy.  Unhealthy skepticism is doubting that you are under attack when there are arrows sticking out of your chest.


Many other articles on this site have already addressed the fluoride issue.  I know you did not read them.

Here are two of those articles:

"Developmental Fluoride Neurotoxicity: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis"

"Fluoride Deposition in the Aged Human Pineal Gland"


*the expression "fucking morons" comes from this KITH sketch:

"God" - The Kids in the Hall


Monday, May 13, 2013

"Cure Tooth Decay" with Ramiel Nagel and Sally Fallon

This is an excellent video.  It's long, but worth it.

Watch here.


- In an earlier post, I ragged on John Harvey Kellogg for his stance on circumcision/MGM.  I thought I might have to come back and write an entire article about how he also promoted whole grain cereals to suppress sex drive in the masses.  But it turns out that Sally Fallon has already beaten me to it and explained it all very neatly in one slide:

- Edward Mellanby regarded grain germ as being "baneful" for dental health!!!

- In an earlier post, I ragged on Dr. Mercola for his stance on cod liver oil, an excellent source of vitamins A, D and K2.

If lately you've married an ailing young wife, maybe you need some fermented cod liver oil.

"We have had dramatic cures of people who have hormonal problems, very long and debilitating menstrual periods, endometriosis, and fibroid tumors by getting them on very high doses of cod liver oil."

- Sally Fallon

CTRL+click below to listen in a new tab!
"Cod Liver Oil" - The Dubliners


I’m a young married man and I’m tired of me life
For lately I married an ailing young wife,
She does nothin' all day - only sits down and sigh
Sayin' "I wish to the Lord that I only could die."
Oh doctor, dear doctor, oh doctor De Jongh
Your cod liver oil is so pure and so strong
I’m afraid of my life, I’ll go down in the soil
If me wife don’t stop drinking your cod liver oil.

'Til a friend of me own came to see me one day
He told me my wife she was just pining away
But he afterwards told me that she would get strong
If I'd buy her a bottle from doctor De Jongh.

Oh doctor, dear doctor, oh doctor De Jongh
Your cod liver oil is so pure and so strong
I’m afraid of my life, I’ll go down in the soil
If me wife don’t stop drinking your cod liver oil.

I bought her a bottle, well just for to try
And the way that she drank it you'd swear she was dry
I bought her another, it went the same
And then she got cod liver oil on the brain.

Oh doctor, dear doctor, oh doctor De Jongh
Your cod liver oil is so pure and so strong
I’m afraid of my life, I’ll go down in the soil
If me wife don’t stop drinking your cod liver oil.

Me house it resembles a great doctor’s shop
Its covered in bottles from bottom to top
Well early the morning the kettle does boil
You would swear it was singing of cod liver oil.

Oh doctor, dear doctor, oh doctor De Jongh
Your cod liver oil is so pure and so strong
I’m afraid of my life, I’ll go down in the soil
If me wife don’t stop drinking your cod liver oil.

Do YOU have cod liver oil on the brain?

Dr. De Jongh says:  "Brown is best!"

Raw, fermented cod liver oil is the sauerkraut of the sea!

For a faster recovery, combine with fermented skate liver oil and a diet high in grass-fed butter (or consider trying this butter oil supplement if you don't like butter).

- This slide from Sally Fallon's presentation is key:

"Vitamin A stores are rapidly depleted by stress."

"The quickest way to deplete your body of vitamin A is to eat a high-protein, low fat diet."

"The darling of the modern dietician is the skinless chicken breast."

"Dr. Price brought people back from the brink of death by alternating drops of high-vitamin cod liver oil and high-vitamin butter oil under the tongue." 

"THE reason pesticides are toxic is because they interfere with vitamin A pathways."

"You can eat liver once a month and get the same amount of B6 and B12 as you can from eating red meat every meal."

- Sally Fallon

Do you suffer from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?  "Shell-shock" from severe PMS (a.k.a. PMSTSD)?  

Maybe YOU need some raw oysters, salmon sashimi or ceviche, raw milk, raw liquid whey or kefir, raw liver or raw egg yolks! 

"One of the key conditions associated with B6 deficiency is alcoholism.  If this is a problem in your family, you want to make sure you're getting lots of raw animal foods."

- Sally Fallon

Vitamin B6 is also important for having vivid dreams.  This is one reason I suspect that raw animal foods are essential for nourishing the human pineal gland.

Remember, the walrus has one of the largest pineal glands in nature.  The walrus spends most of his time eating raw clams and inflicting no pain in the process, since clams lack a central nervous system.

The Teeth Tell the Tale!

- This slide is critical:

If you walk into the average doctor's office today and receive results from a blood test showing that you have low vitamin D levels (which is now widely recognized as a risk factor for many diseases), it is likely that you will be given 50,000 IU of vitamin D2, or ergocalciferol.

Ergocalciferol, synthetic vitamin D2, is a compound that is made by irradiating fungus.  Cholecalciferol, (vitamin D3) whether you buy it, eat it or make it on your skin, is made by irradiating cholesterol, the mother of all hormones (and a micronutrient which I recommend you include in your diet).  Vitamin D3 itself is a hormone.  Vitamin D2 is the wrong hormone, because it causes




It is most likely that your individual doctor does not want your hard tissues to be soft and your soft tissues hard!  That is, your doctor probably doesn't want to hurt or kill you.  But I believe that your doctor is only a brick in the pyramid, and does not know how his role fits into the whole.


No, your doctor may not want your hard tissues soft and soft tissues hard, but I believe that the architects of the policy that is passed down to him have exactly this in mind.

In any case, there can be no doubt that is the effect of this policy, even if you don't believe that there is such a thing as malicious intent.

Pop quiz:  Does vitamin D2 contribute to pineal gland calcification (corpora arenacea - "brain sand")?


Also, please check out these articles, which Sally mentioned in her presentation:

Gout - Weston A. Price Foundation

The Invisible Toothbrush (vitamin C article) -  Weston A. Price Foundation


Thursday, May 9, 2013

"What Chemtrails Are Doing To Your Brain" with Russell Blaylock, M.D.

Watch here.


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Running equations list, Vol. II

Do re mi ≈ Do me, Ra!

An Alchemist's month = 40 days

New World Order (conspiracy theory) = New World Order (as announced by George Sr. to the UN, 9/11/1990)

Well-being ≠ Wellbutrin

Chelation ≠ elation



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Life to America! Bring back butter sauce!

Seth McFarlane (I like to call him "Bast") isn't the only one who can do a "Rock Lobster" parody.

For years he has demonized a safe and nutritious breakfast by serving it to a fat moron every single morning for breakfast in his popular cartoon.  Of course, bacon is the most nutritious of pork products and will never make you fat, and pasture-raised egg yolks are extraordinary brain food.  If you want to be slim and smart - the opposite of Petarded - then bacon and eggs is probably a pretty good breakfast for you.

Indeed, McFarlane's extremely successful show contains plenty of subtle and not-so-subtle programming intended to influence the unconscious consumer.  He touches on political movements like the tea party and issues such as gun control in such a way that cause the viewer to laugh their way into McFarlane's own camp without the slightest independent thought, effort or self-awareness.

In four lines, McFarlane's song "Iraq Lobster" sums up his nutritional agenda and plain New World Order sympathies:

Death to America
And butter sauce
Don't boil me
I'm still alive

Iraq Lobster!

Watch here.

Of course, grass-fed butter is the healthiest fat.

McFarlane even plays on the heart strings of his listeners, saying, "Don't boil me/I'm still alive"

It is not necessary to boil lobsters alive.  You can kill them first, and I strongly recommend it because it is more humane.

McFarlane wants the death of America, and he wants the death of the knowledge of healthy traditional fats like bacon, egg yolks, and butter.  Few artists have done more to demonize animal foods than McFarlane. (Actually, The Kids in the Hall and South Park have done a lot but that is a subject for another article...)

Long live national sovereignty!

Visit The Calm Canary Blog again soon for my mock podcast and "Rock Lobster" parody!


Friday, May 3, 2013

Barack Mobster!

CTRL+click below to listen in a new tab!
"Rock Lobster" - The B-52's

"Who knows where I'll be this time tomorrow night, Laura?  I could be helpin' out a town in trouble - I could be in Chicago, eatin' bacon and eggs with gangsters."*


This is your breakfast in Chicago with gangsters.**

CTRL+click below to watch clip in a new tab!

"Where are the ballots?"

Barack Mobster!!!  Down, down...


Coming soon to The Calm Canary Blog:  

Mock Podcast!


**Don't be afraid of bacon and eggs - even The Telegraph now reluctantly admits the meal is brain-food -

Of course, pork brains and eggs is an even better brain-food meal:

apple keeps  => eggs keep

"Three eggs a day keep the doctor away" - Chris Kresser

And if you want to keep ahead of the most recent anti-egg propaganda, see also:

"Choline and TMOA: Eggs Still Don't Cause Heart Disease" - Chris Kresser

"Egg yolks are a sacred food in China.  A woman who is pregnant and nursing in China, if she can afford it, eats up to ten eggs a day.  They are considered a brain food, and she eats ten eggs a day to make sure that her child will be intelligent."  
- Sally Fallon

(Joel Wallach recommends a similar diet for therapeutic purposes in the short term for recovering Alzheimer's patients - one dozen pasture-raised egg yolks per day)

Monday, April 8, 2013

MariNoia, Vol. VIII: "Comfortable High"

 [under construction - come back later for updates]

In my next article in the MariNoia series, I'll go into more detail about accumulation of toxins such as fluoride and aluminum in herbs such as tea and marijuana, and about what to do to reduce one's exposure to these toxins (i.e. medical marijuana harm-reduction pyramid).

For now it will suffice to discuss the effect of fluoride in tea on the human pineal gland.

Andrew Norton Webber ( says that a cup of green tea may have as much fluoride as 8-14 liters of fluoridated city tap water.  I try to test every claim he makes.  So far, so good.

(Andrew Norton Webber claim #1: The distilled waters are the Secret of Alchemy.


Andrew Norton Webber claim #2: Dr. Mercola is an 80/20 bait-and-switch disinfo agent

     Also true!)

The amount of fluoride in tea (green, white, black) is highly variable, and since I haven't seen a ton of studies on the fluoride content of tea, I don't know if Andrew's statement is an exaggeration or if it is reasonable.  I will get back to you on that later.  I've heard much lower estimates before.

As I've already discussed on this blog, [see post "Fluoride Deposition in the Aged Human Pineal Gland"] fluoride is uniquely attracted to and harmful to the human pineal gland.

The mechanism by which fluoride is supposed to help our teeth is mineralization - formation of apatites in the tooth enamel.  However, I contend that fluoridation of water, fluoride dental treatments, and fluoridated toothpaste do a better job of calcifying the pineal gland (the Seat of the Soul) and poisoning the bones than hardening the teeth.

Fluoride: "a highly toxic bone poison that should be avoided at all costs"

- Chris Kresser, the Health Detective

Indeed, after the research I've done in the last couple of years regarding such topics, I can only conclude that the main purpose of water fluoridation is to calcify the pineal gland.

Fluoride also lowers IQ [see post "Developmental Fluoride Neurotoxicity: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis"], and has behavioral effects - creating a docile, apathetic human creature.

"Alex Jones makes Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh sound like tea-sipping NPR hosts on Zoloft." 

- Rolling Stone

It would have been even more appropriate if Rolling Stone had used Prozac (a widely-prescribed fluoridated pharmaceutical, pineal-calcifier and Great Lakes fish-killer extraordinaire) in this quote in place of Zoloft.

But the author of this Rolling Stone quote really seems to have a particularly excellent handle on what it is that is chemically responsible for apathy...hmm...

Speaking of tea-sipping, the Aggies of Texas A&M refer to the UT Longhorns disparagingly as "tea-sippers".  I contend that, at the top of the administration, those "in the know" are actually pee-sippers (and also that they worship Satan).

[see post "U.T."]


If the fluoride content in green tea is what Andrew Norton Webber says it is, then a cup of green tea may well be a fluoride bomb!

And even if the fluoride content is much less than that, drinking tea may still have an overall pineal-calcifying effect, and may be toxic to sensitive (or sensitized) individuals.

If there is anything that we can be sure of, it is that the fluoride content of a cup of tea is substantially higher than the fluoride content of the water it was made from.


In my own experience, tea is a drug.  I mean, it contains at least two substances that I think we should refer to as drugs: caffeine and fluoride.  In my opinion, fluoride, as it is found in tea, is just as significant a psychotropic drug as is the caffeine.  My sense is that when one drinks tea, there is a short-term stimulant effect because of the caffeine but in the long run an overall sedative (and in my opinion, pineal-calcifying) effect.

Recently I've encountered a lot of people in my path who have seemed (al)chemically knowledgable and have tried desperately to get tea into my body.  I'll share two short stories:

A few months ago, one man almost begged me to let him make me a cup of green tea, late in the evening. 

"John!  Would you like a cup of green tea now?  I'll make it for you myself!  Come on!  Would you like a cup of tea?  I'll make it for you right now!"  

This was during a heated debate about conspiracy theories which took place in front of two other people - my former chemistry teacher and his wife.  Maybe he wanted to make me a little more docile.  I did not drink the green tea.  He also remarked in that long conversation that he had acid-like trips (in that he saw visions) whenever he used edible marijuana (i.e. cannabutter or brownies).  (When I have access to edible medicine, my dose is massive: the cannabutter equivalent of six very strong brownies per day, yet I have never seen any visions while on pot). He also went on and on about how he doesn't need any sort of medication because he naturally has plenty of serotonin.  He also tried to steer me away from distilled water, yet paradoxically he remarked that he once drank rainwater for about a year* when he lived in India.  For these reasons, and also because he stayed with my chem teacher and his wife for forty days (an Alchemist's month), I suspect he has an open Third Eye/decalcified pineal gland.  (The human pineal gland is a center of production of serotonin, melatonin, and DMT.)

*A year seems long enough to complete the Great Work of Alchemy:

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

     - Lewis Carroll

About two months ago, another man (my former Jungian analyst, who shall remain anonymous) lied to my face and told me that kombucha did not contain tea in order to get the fluoride into my body and slow my progress in the Great Work of Alchemy (decalcification of the pineal gland and subsequent Enlightenment).  He insisted that I drink one bottle while I was in his presence and take another one home so I could drink it later.  This, of course happened after I had said very clearly, to his face, "You know [as I've been telling you for the last several weeks] that I've been drinking distilled water and practicing urine therapy and avoiding all tea and all sources of fluoride that I can because I want to decalcify my pineal gland.  Does this kombucha stuff have tea in it?"  And he lied to my face and told me that it did not.  He even said it was his favorite drink.  I don't know how someone that intelligent could drink kombucha all day, call it their favorite drink and be honest-to-goodness oblivious to the fact that it contains tea.  I don't know how someone who uses nonfluoridated toothpaste could appear to be so "in the dark" when it comes to kombucha.  I drank the kombucha, which, for the record, does have tea in it.  I was fooled.  But not for long.

[see post "Kombucha is an F-bomb!"]

...back to the subject of this article.

Drinking some tea can make the "high" from smoking marijuana less intense (i.e. "Comfortable High"), because of the fluoride.  I contend that the 'Old' Alchemists (the ones that flash the Sign of the Horns and hoard their golden secret), Freemasons, Satanists or whatever you want to call them, have knowledge of the fluoride content in tea and its effects on the human pineal gland and on behavior, and that they use this knowledge to medicate the "vulgar herd". 

Watch this Kids in the Hall sketch carefully:

"Comfortable High" - Kids in the Hall

The Calm Canary translation:

The host and hostess (in my opinion) both have opened Third Eye chakras.  They are both high as kites, and the hostess (played by Kevin McDonald) offers poor Nina (played by Mark McKinney) some tea after she takes a toke because she can tell by watching Nina's auric field/chakra system that the high is too intense.  Sure enough, Nina picks up on the fact that something strange is going on (they've already had tons of coffee - why would she want tea?).  But coffee doesn't have fluoride, and fluoride is precisely what the hostess wanted to medicate Nina with, in order to make the high more comfortable (hence the title: "Comfortable High").  I did not understand the title of the sketch until I realized that the fluoride in tea has the effect of shutting down the pineal gland. 

Some of you may object, "Oh, no, John, Nina was obviously just marinoid and the hostess, also stoned, clearly 'tripped' and forgot yet again that she'd already poured lots of coffee.  The fact that the hostess offered her some tea is insignificant."  But if you think that way, you obviously weren't smoking any pot while you were watching the video.  If you are straight, or if you never have used marijuana, you're more likely to think nothing in the world could possibly be significant or connected to anything else.  If you're stoned, you're more likely to see that everything is connected. 

I've got the advantage of having watched the sketch both ways.  And I've also tried drinking tea while smoking pot, and have found that (as long as you don't overdose on caffeine) the fluoride in tea will make the high less intense. 

(On a side note, since I've started practicing urine therapy, I've found that I literally can't use caffeinated beverages anymore (I used to drink green tea, then switched to yerba mate for a while which has about 1/5 the amount of fluoride in green tea).  Anyway, I used aspirin and a warm, green, caffeinated beverage together to reduce my migraine pain about three times per week, for about three years.  Once I started practicing urine therapy, I had a few days of relative relief but at the same time this palliative treatment (aspirin + caffeine) started to fail entirely.  Medical marijuana still helps, and I take a triptan about three days per week.  So I've traded one tool for another.)

If you still don't agree with my interpretation of this Kids in the Hall sketch (which is possible, but dumb), I dare you to explain the title "Comfortable High" any other way.  Leave a comment below.

This theme of taking tokes and literally seeing something happen in the chakra system is found elsewhere in the KITH repertoire.

"He's Hip, He's Cool, He's 45: Hiring 2" - Kids in the Hall

This sketch brings a whole new meaning to the term "INTER-VIEW".  I contend that Hip, Cool, 45 Guy turned down the applicant because he looked at his chakra system when he took a toke - not because he slobbered on his joint.

Do you think it is going too far for me to claim that the guy being interviewed was turned down because his auric field was visible to the interviewer when they took a few quick tokes?  Leave a comment below.

Others have made similar claims before.  Fast forward to 9:23 in [this video] for a testimonial from one of the RawBrahs, who claims to be able to see spirits in people's eyes when he smokes marijuana.  He says that sometimes they're evil, sometimes they're pure and light.

I tend to believe him.

I may be Third-Eye blind, but I won't be for long!

- The Calm Canary


Osho practiced urine therapy

Osho: "Instead of alcohol, start drinking the Water of Life!"

And if he were alive today, I think Osho might add,

I'm not shitting in your tuba!

Question - "Beloved Master, I would like to try experimenting with alcohol a la Gurdjieff, except I am broke. Can I have an alcohol allowance?"

Osho - "Deva Shraddan, George Gurdjieff would not have given you that experiment. That was given only to people who are against alcohol! For example, if Morarji Desai had gone to George Gurdjieff, then he would have forced him to drink alcohol -- instead of his own urine!

A photograph of Morarji Desai, former prime minister of India, who also practiced urine therapy

But not for you. So it is very difficult for me to allow you an alcohol allowance -- that would be against the spirit of George Gurdjieff. He would never forgive me!

The essential core of the experiment is to disturb you, to shatter you, to shatter your patterns, fixed patterns. If you are desiring alcohol, then that is the LAST thing that is going to shatter you. It will be fulfilling, it will not be shattering. Instead of alcohol, start drinking the water of life!

"You know, you are the first man I have met whose kisses make me sit up and open my eyes."


"Yes. Usually they have the opposite effect."

With you, alcohol will not be of any help; the water of life may have the right effect. You may open your eyes and sit up. And one thing more is good about it: you can be broke and still you can enjoy it. No allowance is needed, so Laxmi need not worry about it. It gives you total self-dependence. 

One Saturday night George ended up at a party in an unfamiliar apartment building. He got very drunk and somehow found his way home in the wee hours. When he woke up the next afternoon with a terrible hangover, he realized that he had left his jacket, tie, shirt and shoes at the party.

With much difficulty he found the apartment building, but he had no idea which apartment he had been in. The only thing he remembered about it was a magnificent gold toilet. So he knocked at the first apartment. The door was opened by a man with a hangover.

"Hello," said George. "Did you have a party here last night?"

"We sure did!" groaned the man.

"And do you have a gold toilet?"

"A gold toilet? No, we sure don't."

So George had to go to the next door, and so on for three floors. Everyone was recovering from a party, but no one knew anything about a gold toilet. By the time he got to the last apartment, George was beginning to think he had imagined the gold toilet. The door was opened by a man with a hangover.

"Uh, hello," said George. "Did you have a party here last night?"

"We sure had a party here!" groaned the man.

"And do you by any chance have a gold toilet?"

There was a long silence.

Finally the man shouted back over his shoulder,

"Hey, Harry -- here is the guy who shit in your tuba!"

So, Shraddan, the allowance can be allowed... but what about other people's tubas? You will create trouble. If you listen to my advice, forget the whole idea. It is good that you are broke. This is called a blessing in disguise. If you were not broke you would have gone a la Gurdjieff, and that would have led you into more trouble.

Gurdjieff certainly forced people to drink, but only the people who were against alcohol. He used to make toasts every night for all the kinds of idiots in the world. He had twenty-six categories of idiots. I don't know to which category you would belong, but you must belong to some category. Unless you are awakened you are bound to belong to some category or other.

An idiot is a person who is trying to find joy where joy does not exist at all, who is trying to search for something which he has never lost in the first place. The enlightened person is one who has looked into his being before searching for anything anywhere else. It is better to look in your own house. He has looked in and has found it there. Now his search has disappeared.

The person who is interested in alcohol must be living in misery, in a kind of suffering. That's why he wants somehow to forget it all. Alcohol is nothing but a chemical strategy to forget your miseries, anxieties, your problems, to forget yourself.

My whole effort here, Shraddan, is to help you to remember yourself -- and you want to forget yourself. By forgetting yourself you will be creating more and more hell for yourself and for others. Remember, rather, remember yourself.

My methods are different from George Gurdjieff's. I am not in favor of any alcoholic beverages. I am not in favor of any psychedelic drugs either, because they all create illusory worlds for you and they all are distractions. They make you more and more oblivious of your own being, unaware of your own self.

My work is based in awareness. The word 'awareness' is the golden key here, the master key. You have to learn to be more aware. Howsoever painful it is in the beginning, be more aware, because it is by becoming more aware that one day you will become part of the celebration of the whole.

AES DHAMMO SANANTANO -- this is the eternal inexhaustible law.

Enough for today."